Monday, January 31, 2011

Lately I Have Been Crying Alot....

What soap is to the body,
laughter is to the soul!
Yiddish Proverb

I have a beautiful daughter who is lost to herself. I miss her giggles and silly laughter. She has Autism and is now 11 and a half. She has made great strides in the last several years of her life. She had always been a sweet girl with a smile on her face. In the last several years she has been growing up and changing into a little lady. With this has come an attitude to boot! I am at a loss as to how to help her. She is now an angry,defiant and mad child. I say white and she says black. I pop my head in her room to say Hi and she starts raging at me. We are adjusting some of her medications and seeing a Behavioral Therapist also. Now I am going to take her back to the OBGYN and see if her hormones are out of whack. I have to coax her into getting up in the morning and get ready for school.While I am trying to coax her she is yelling screaming, hitting, and kicking at me. We always end up in a battle. She is refusing to come down to eat for meals. She has always been sensitive to an empty stomach and would get cranky. With the ADHD med she is not as hungry though. She is on 4 different meds and I 'm not sure which one is doing what anymore. She is lost to me.....

My girl always use to smile for pictures.....

Now it is like almost impossible to get a decent shot of her. We had portraits done for Christmas cards this year.There was one shot out of 20 individual ones of her with a half decent smile. I can't find the CD right now or I would show you our Christmas cards.

This was the one decent shot from the snow around Christmas.

I am not asking for a pity party! I am just sharing with you what the reality of my life is right now. The one bright spot is our precious Jon Jon! When I am crying he will come up to me and say "Why crying Mommy?" "Need a hug?" I will pick him up and he will kiss my face, wipe my tears away and just stay cuddly with me. There is nothing quite like this little man who is so sensitive and loving.

My special little guy. He was very proud of the necklace he made for his EI teacher.

When it rains on your parade,
look up rather than down.
Without the rain, there
would be no rainbow.

G.K. Chesterton

So, I am going to be posting about the things I am thankful for to remind me of what is good and happy in my life for the next several months.

1. Is for the sunshine today! It has been rather dark , gray and rainy here in the PNW.


Dawn said...

Hi Jody,
I have a special needs daughter who is 17 now ... not the age she is actually. Life gets hard when they try to fit in...your daughter is blessed to have her family and such a great loving mom. Because you will find and do what needs to be done to help her. Some times it is just hard..but things may change around for her soon. I would really check her meds again too. We are looking for good counseling too..

Sammons said...

Big huge hugs coming your way!! Prayers for Princess, for your family, for peace and many more smiles!!! Mary

Jimh. said...

I know it will get better. It's got to, right?

You are in our thoughts.

Thank you for sharing our experience in China with us, it was always nice to see your comments. Jimh.

Leah Mei said...

This is a tough age for the average child, let alone when there are other issues. My neighbors have a son with autism and at several different stages growing up the meds would have to be adjusted, so maybe that will help. Hus and prayers are being sent your way.

Diana - FreeStyleMama said...

Life with a teenager is challenging. They are unique creatures that cause so much pain and strife. Throw in some special needs and I am sure it's extra difficult do swallow.

I was once told by a VERY wise person whom I highly respect that your when your child is an adult they will be like their personality will be like their 10 year old self. Your daughter looks to be around 10 in that top picture! Remembering that helps me to deal with my mean, nasty, defiant, angry, moody teen. He was a fairly decent kid at that age. And YES having a sweet younger one to hug us when we are sad is just WONDERFUL. Unfortunately they will turn into one of those icky creatures one day. I know, hard to believe!! Just when your daughter is getting out of her teens, then Jon Jon will enter. With our spread we will have 23 years of teens straight. YIKES!! They do say that teen boys are easier to deal maybe that will be a saving grace for you.

Taking the time to see the positives is a wonderful way to cope. (((HUGS)))

The Byrd's Nest said...

I am new to your blog but notice that we love lots of the same people in the adoption community:) I am writing you down in my prayer journal to commit to praying for you and your daughter. I agree with another friend who commented....looking for the positives is a great way to cope. Big hugs to you Jody.

Cora said...

I am so glad to see your blog back! It must of missed it in my reader but I guess I have a little distraction now :). I hope you can figure out what is going on with Gabby. It really sounds like a teen thing, I wish I could offer some great advice but just keep being great mom you are and you will get through it.

I tried to email you but don't know if I have the right address. Send me an email, we are headed to Seattle next month and I would love to see you. corahuffman @ charter dot net.

Take Care